ALONE IN THE DARK (*)
To make it short and sweet, there is no good reason to see ALONE IN THE DARK. Watching it is like being to Disneyland the seventh time in a week. At least Ed Wood’s films have a certain charm where you can claim that “It’s so bad, it’s good.” This one is just
bad.
BAD BOYS II (*)
AS I was beginning to admire BAD BOYS II for its unabashed ruthlessness, it also dawned on me why I was going to detest it so much. During the film’s first major action sequence, its rampaging verve was undeniable, but so was the ego of one of its protagonists. In a film that has so much death and destruction, it is disconcerting to find scarcely an ounce of concern in our heroes. Policemen at that.
BAD COMPANY (*)
Note: This is my interpretation of Jerry Bruckheimer's (the film's producer) thoughts
Let's fill in the blanks in making my new movie, shall we?
First, let's pick an odd couple, one so unlikely that people will be so curious to see how they'd work out. I mean Mel Gibson and Danny Glover (LETHAL WEAPON) mastered this, and Hollywood has been cashing in on this "cop" formula since God knows when. I know! What could be a bigger mismatch than
Anthony Hopkins (THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS) and
Chris Rock (DOGMA)? One is an acting giant, the other a comedic genius. They virtually have nothing in common (other than this horrible movie). That's one item down! On to the next.
BEHIND ENEMY LINES (*)
With this in mind, calling BEHIND ENEMY LINES a war movie about the Serbian-Bosnian-Croat conflict is like calling RAMBO a war movie about Vietnam. It feels like a collage of MTV Music Videos put together with a plot resembling chases between Wiley E. Coyote and the Roadrunner (and just as serious). If you thought SPY GAME was kinetic, this one is frenetic. I don't consider it to be insulting to Bosnians, Serbians, or Croats, because from the very beginning, the film doesn't take itself seriously, and neither should we. It's too bad that more effort was not put into making a more believable story for this project. The production values are remarkable, the special effects top notch, and even the cinematography was impressive. But like the hero's F/18 jet, everything blows up, crashes and burns into smoldering slag by the end.
RESIDENT EVIL (*)
It's a wonder how some movies get made. Much of the junk that Hollywood churns out comes from the assumption that popular novels, video-games, or TV-shows, will arouse so much curiosity as films, that they'll be safe bets as money-makers. Some of these game-to-movie productions have very little love or effort put into them (see DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS). Some of them put in the effort, but are simply not interesting enough to carry the weight of a storyline (SUPER MARIO BROTHERS, STREETFIGHTER, MORTAL KOMBAT). RESIDENT EVIL has the distinction of falling into both of these categories. Yes, I have played the game, and it should have been left as it was.
SORORITY BOYS (*)
After seeing the trailer for SORORITY BOYS, I felt that I needed to see it. The preview was put together so expertly. I wish I could say the same for the movie. I must admit that I laughed (and laughed out loud) during many parts. But after looking back at some of those moments, I felt ashamed. Here is a film that is not only dirty, but mean. Especially when it comes to women. I enjoyed some segments, but loathed almost everything else.
THE RING TWO (*)
THE RING TWO, for all intents and purposes, is one big bummer. It looks like a thriller, walks like a thriller, talks like a thriller, but scares like a turkey. Though THE RING and its progenitor RINGU never really frightened me, both of them had their moments of approval. Despite its drawn-out tempo, and lack of editing, I admired RINGU’s askew ambiance in the midst of Japan’s orderliness, along with the originality of its wraith and her fatal means. I loved the cold clinical feel of Gore Verbinski’s version, and its terse pacing and skill, regardless if I had seen it before. But this latest incarnation is meandering, rootless, baffling, and worst of all, surprisingly mild. Time for its actors to collect their paychecks I guess.
THE WILD (*)
In the 90s, Walt Disney could do no wrong when it came to animated films. It revitalized the genre with THE LITTLE MERMAID and BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, and continued its dominance through the decade with classic after classic But after its last such masterpiece in TARZAN, it lost focus. Animation’s balance of power started shifting from hand-drawing to CGI, with audiences drawn to new vibrant images not possible before. Disney still produced a few memorable pictures, but the exodus had begun.
