BAHAY NI LOLA 2 (Zero Stars)
What a
staggering piece of ineptitude BAHAY NI LOLA 2 is. Here is a film so incompetent, that if its director Joven Tan ever graduated from film school, he should be sent back and be stripped of his diploma. It's Filipino films like these that keep me from reviewing the rest. It fails on every level.
DISKARTE (Zero Stars)
I have no problem with fantasy films, but this one is sickening. How is it a fantasy film you might ask? It's about guys trying to one-up each other by showing how better they are at killing people, and in between scenes, how easily they fornicate with beautiful whores. After seeing DISKARTE, you'll wonder how the industry got so low in selling rotting pieces of manure like this to the masses.
FIRST TIME (Zero Stars)
When I went to visit my fiancée at Glorietta a week ago, she told me that there was a mob of men on the second floor area waiting for the Viva Hot Babes to arrive and climb the escalator. We both met at the ground floor and watched as these howling horny males ogled and hollered at every attractive woman who went up the elevator, even before their sex idols arrived. If you can relate to these men, then this movie is for you.
SUPER-B (Zero Stars)
If you're wondering why the cast information for SUPER-B is lacking, it's because I couldn't bother to stick around for the ending credits (I left halfway into it). That's how horrendous this movie is. It shouldn't be even classified as a movie. It's a complete mess. A bunch of convoluted tacky ideas, sloppily put together with preschool quality. A high school student's PowerPoint presentation would be more awe-inspiring.
YAMASHITA: THE TIGER'S TREASURE (Zero Stars)
I haven't seen BAGONG BUWAN yet, but I've already heard Cesar Montano's stunning onstage complaint that it should have beat YAMASHITA for best picture. I thought his tirade was in bad taste, done in a very disrespectful way. Though the manner in which Mr. Montano ranted is something I disapprove of, after seeing YAMASHITA: THE TIGER'S TREASURE, I understand why. Looking back at the film, I tried to find something, anything, redeemable about it, and could find little. This movie is the Philippines' industry version of PEARL HARBOR, only worse (if you can believe that). It is practically, and I say this with careful observation… worthless.
