BLADE: TRINITY (½)
Wesley Snipes could have established himself as one of the finer African American actors once his career took off. But he chose fame over credibility; his physical muscles over his acting ones. Now he has become what I had always feared, a black Jean-Claude Van Damme. BLADE: TRINITY confirms it. How the mighty have fallen.
CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE (½)
The easiest movie reviews to write are the ones that involve bad films. So you'll understand when I say that this will be one of my easiest, since CHARLIE’S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE makes a strong case for worst film of the year (so far). This is a film that loads so much ammunition for critics willing to review it. I say “willing” since I was unwilling to do so at first. I hated its predecessor, and since most reviews have said that FULL THROTTLE bears a lot of resemblance to its antecedent, why wouldn’t I hate it as well (I thought it hard to believe, but it’s far worse)?
IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE (½)
IT’S ALL ABOUT LOVE is proof that a movie’s value does not depend on a director’s abundant talent. The clarity of its title is indirectly proportional to that of its presentation. And despite a marvelous effort put by the film’s crew and cast, its direction leads to madness. It is an obscure, laboring, and pretentious movie. I hesitate to call it a total failure, but it is.
LIFE OR SOMETHING LIKE IT (½)
LIFE OR SOMETHING LIKE IT ends with the commonly used phrase, "Someone once said, live every day as if it will be your last." After the lead character starts to believe that her life will soon end, rarely does she emulate this statement. Instead of reconciling past bitterness, spending time with people she loves the most, or trying to rectify past regrets, she gets into petty arguments, responds to horny come-ons, performs rebellious acts, and spends the rest of the time making an ass out of herself. Like Stephen Hunter of the Washington Post says, "Oh, please. Stop and smell the manure."
MAGKAPATID (½)
MAGKAPATID and DISKARTE have more in common than you might think. They both go on autopilot for their entire lengths. Their women are their least likeable characters, They both have bear very little truth or insight. And they both pretend to be something they're not. The latter was soft-porn pretending to be an action film. While the former is a feel-good film pretending to be a dramatic presentation. With two of the Philippines's most likeable actresses, MAGKAPATID had huge potential. Instead, it's a huge letdown.
SCOOBY-DOO (½)
Before I begin my morbid review of SCOOBY-DOO, ask yourself this question: What makes Scooby-Doo (both the dog and the show) interesting? I have to ask this question because it's not a good-enough reason to take kids to see a movie just because it's based on a popular cartoon show. Elizabeth Weitzman of the New York Daily News writes: "Let's be honest, the original Scooby-Doo cartoon series was pretty lousy, the sort of thing you watched not because it was good, but because it was on." Though I like Scooby-Doo as a lovable character, her assessment of the show is dead-on. We already have countless movies of talking dogs (both live and animated). Why make a movie about this one?
THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (½)
I have never been to any of Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber’s theatrical presentations, so I cannot say what has made his work so widely adored. But I will say this: Joel Schumacher’s adaptation of this world famous play is one of the most bloated and maudlin plays I have ever seen. It inspires giggles of laughter due to its quixotic treatment of an absolutely preposterous and specious romance. How its adorers can stand such a pipe dream is baffling.
