The Flipcritic

What a staggering piece of ineptitude BAHAY NI LOLA 2 is. Here is a film so incompetent, that if its director Joven Tan ever graduated from film school, he should be sent back and be stripped of his diploma. It's Filipino films like these that keep me from reviewing the rest. It fails on every level.

It’s not the astounding amateurishness of the film’s craftsmanship that digs its own grave. It's its sheer lack of creativity. What we have here is a mishmash of recycled horror movie plots drained of all energy and substance. It hasn’t got a single bone of originality in its body. Don’t believe me? Go to http://www.bahaynilola2.com and read its synopsis. Everything you need to know about the movie is there, plus its design is about as scary.

Some elements involve a family who find a home that they find perfect for their needs (POLTERGEIST). But guess what? Its haunted. People left and right who have lived or work at the house suffer various afflictions or die. Is that a sign that maybe its dwellers should leave (Oh but it’s so affordable!)? The family’s breadwinner starts going demented (THE SHINING). His mother can see dead people (THE SIXTH SENSE). The breadwinner feels a compelling need to dig in his home (STIR OF ECHOES). Just going on with the movie’s banality makes me furious.

Ok. So let’s forget about the movie’s copycat tendencies. Can it scare us? Hell no. There is not a single frightening moment in its arsenal. It draws out its suspense setups much too long, making us wonder when we might get to its point. Its editing is slipshod, leaving many scenes visually untidy or entirely useless to the film’s events. The production design is absolutely pathetic, signaling that the film had no ambition or no budget (I believe it to be both). Its anxieties depend solely on darkness and silence, but are totally oblivious to pacing, timing, and believability.

Then there’s the god-awful script. Guess who wrote it? Yes! The director! It shows when it has more holes than a fly swatter, such as one moment where the wife tells how hard it is to understand the ancient Chinese practice of feng shui, only to be spouting its good and bad principles a few days later. Or when an old lady panicky telephones the wife to inform her of something dreadfully important, that she has to meet with her the next morning. If it’s so urgent, why not just say it on the phone right there and then? But no, she hangs up and feels a threatening presence nearby. Call the wife again why doesn’t she? No… too easy. She writes what she has to say before her demise, so calmly that the time it takes to write her last words is enough to proclaim her urgent message three times over. What she wrote had me rolling in the aisles, reminding me of Joseph of Arimathia's last words in MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL.

By the way, when the wife finds the old lady's corpse, does she shriek in horror? Call the police? A doctor? Of course not! She reads the letter. Aloud.

The movie’s characters never talk reasonably to one another (otherwise they would have left the house halfway into the film). Every conversation is directed towards the audience instead of those holding it. And as usual, every Filipino stereotype is reinforced. The wife is useless. Gays are made fun of because they’re effeminate. And corporate bosses always speak in loud tones. Its filmmakers don’t have a clue on how real people operate in the real world. Or they choose to typecast because portraying rationality in Filipino films must be really hard work (It's called craftsmanship).

The cast does what it can. Gifted actors such as Dingdong Dantes (one of the few assets of MAGKAPTID), Cherry Pie Picache (wonderful in AMERICAN ADOBO), and Gloria Romero (at her best in TANGING YAMAN) are given thankless roles. Karylle Padilla (daughter of famed Filipina singer Zsa Zsa Padilla) cannot act. And Tsokoleit and John Lapus, though somewhat entertaining, are essentially sideshows. All of them have no artistic room to maneuver, so who can blame them?

Why does our film industry give the green light to such inferiority? If Fernando Meirelles could make a heralded Brazilian film like CIDADE DE DEUS on a shoestring budget, with dozens of extras, and a simple idea, so can we. If Prachya Pinkaew can direct a scintillating Thai martial arts extravaganza without CGI or wire effects in ONG BAK, so can we. If Ekachai Uekrongtham can helm a heartfelt coming of age film involving a transsexual kickboxer in BEAUTIFUL BOXER, so can we. But our industry encourages such low standards, and BAHAY NI LOLA 2 is concrete proof of it. Our counterparts are getting noticed, while we keep churning out junk. Philippine cinema, which was once a stalwart Asian tiger, has long been subdued, and better take notice.

Posted by FLIPCRITIC at March 19, 2005 05:16 PM