EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS (***)
People reading this review who have already seen EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS are probably looking in astonishment. Three stars? Has the Flipcritic gone flip? Gosh I hope not. Like all of you, I had seen the trailer, and like many reactions, I thought it was odd. But see, that's what the movie fully intends to be. It's not so much a horror film as it is a comedy. From the trailer alone, you know that the movie never proposes to take itself seriously. So why should we? And on those terms, I really enjoyed it (Really! I did!)!
All of us know by now that the movie is about giant spiders wrecking havoc on a small town. They got to be huge because of a toxic canister that falls into a nearby lake (It is always amusing to know that it will almost always be a toxic canister that causes a contamination like this). The lake infects all insects which live near it. Unluckily, a local "exotic" spider collector named Joshua (Tom Noonan of LAST ACTION HERO) feeds these insects to his pet spiders. One of Joshua's young friends Mike Parker (Scott Terra) is a young kid with a fascination for arachnids, who witnesses the growth of these creatures. But after he leaves, a spider escapes, bites its keeper, causing to writhe in so much agony that he crashes into every glass cage in his home, releasing the eight legged freaks (they tend to do that in movies like this).
The film's hero (of sorts) is Chris McCormack (David Arquette of SCREAM) the son of a local miner who return to his hometown to continue his father's work. He owns the mines that have been dug, but Mayor Wade (Leon Rippy) would like Chris McCormack to sell his land to him. The reason? To sell them to a company which needs dumping sites for its toxic waste. Of course, Chris is not only here because of the land. He still has feelings for an old flame in the town, who just now happens to be Sheriff Sam Parker (Kari Wuhrer). She's a divorced parent of two kids, one them who just happens to be the only remaining spider expert, Mike.
Like WINDTALKERS, EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS is a reminder of the genres they both belong to around 20 or 30 years ago. But the reason why WINDTALKERS fails is because it tries to be serious when its attitude and style are clearly out of date. EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS knows it's out of date, but it doesn't take itself too seriously. It has fun with its genre, one that has exhausted itself out of any further creativity. It's an actually an homage to the old B-Monster movies of old, and I had quite a good laugh knowing how it ridicules all its familiar tricks and scare tactics.
Yes, all of the old clichés are here. The knows how to put tension in you buy making its characters stick their hands (or heads) into dark holes that lead to unknown places. But it's unpredictable just enough for us keep guessing who's going to be a spider-meal and who isn't. The movie also has some capable humor, but most of the laughs come from the knowledge of knowing what will happen next. We know most of the townsfolk will not listen once they have told monster spiders will be marauding their existence, especially when an entertaining local radio station has rants from DJ Harlan (Doug E. Doug of COOL RUNNINGS) who believes in his alien conspiracy theories. We know that the mines are linked with the town. We know the hero will help save the day, and it's fun to see how will do that, especially when things become dire, but in a droll way.
Then there are the spiders, all kinds of them. Jumpers, Trap-door, Tarantulas, etc. The manner of how they catch their prey provides most of the chills, though however they shallow those might be. The jumpers are unnervingly fast. The trap-door spiders are spooky in their unpredictability, and every other eight-legged freak is just scary enough to make one uneasy about being in their clutches. I found their attacks to be quite enjoyable. Some jump onto your face, lay eggs in your mouth, and even take you underground. Their appearances aren't too convincing at times, but the movie isn't geared towards believability. Some of the spiders even have laughable personalities. There's one that doesn't move once you face in your direction, and their are some that slide off surfaces after unwittingly hitting them.
None of the characters are really interesting, but they are pleasing to watch. The acting isn't serious, but how can it be when the movie isn't? I just loved David Arquette's reactions to some unexpected scares. He knows how to ham up without being obvious. Take notice of his face when he gets out of his last tight spot. Kari Wuhrer is unusually attractive, and may be the sexiest Sheriff I have ever seen. Of everyone else, Rick Overton grabbed my attention as the Sheriff's dim-witted but lovable Deputy, Pete. You can't help but like him as you feel he doesn't deserve to die, and the story gives him some truly funny and satisfying moments.
I guess true-movie fans will enjoy this film since it is an obvious homage to its old predecessors. Its first half is slow, but once the spiders hit town, it never lets up. It follows the rules it sets for itself and surprisingly ties up all of its loose ends very neatly towards the end. It sticks to the genre's formulas faithfully and pokes fun at them without being evident. EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS is a nice reminder of what cheesy horror movies used to be like. It may not be as scary as some people want it to be, but it has a good spirit of entertainment. Not a bad way to pass two hours.
Posted by FLIPCRITIC at August 9, 2002 12:00 AM