The Flipcritic

If you're wondering why the cast information for SUPER-B is lacking, it's because I couldn't bother to stick around for the ending credits (I left halfway into it). That's how horrendous this movie is. It shouldn't be even classified as a movie. It's a complete mess. A bunch of convoluted tacky ideas, sloppily put together with preschool quality. A high school student's PowerPoint presentation would be more awe-inspiring.

Should I continue with the movie's plot? A critic knows his duty. Ruffa Mae Quinto's (BOOBA) character is a street merchant in love with a newspaper reporter played by Troy Montero (whose character has no importance but to attract his fans). Her longtime annoying suitor played by Marvin Agustin, proposes to marry her and offers a ring endowed with super-powers. She takes the ring without seriously considering his offer and then uses its gifts to fight crime. Early in the film, Super-B's enemies are revealed as the children-show heroines, "The Flower Pot Girls" (didn't that make you wince?) played by Mylene Dizon and Melanie Marquez. You can probably determine what will happen next. I of course, could care less.

If you think I'm taking this film too seriously, I assure you that I was expecting trash. But there is such a thing as good trash (The AUSTIN POWERS series are a good example), films that amount to nothing, but are still entertaining enough to pass the time. When I watch a movie, no matter how bad it may be, I usually still find some merit in it. Good luck in trying to find value in this one. It is appaling. Every character is shouting out (directly or indirectly) to the audience for us to notice them. They want us to laugh at their antics despite them being far far far away from being funny.

Hmm... where do I start? How about the cheesy, corny, hammy acting. The pathetic production value. The shoddy editing. The lack of a coherent story. A terrible terrible music video. Special Effects that would make the DARNA series look like The STAR WARS Trilogy. And the abysmal attempts at laughs. Everybody is cynical, screaming, being cute in front of the camera. Super-B's transformation takes about ten seconds where she is shown dancing in fast-forward. The "Flower Pot Girls" slap their gay slaves more than Larry, Moe, and Curly do in a Three Stooges marathon.

Acting? There is none! Every character is unbearably irritating. Marvin Agustin's attempt at being funny is to make a Mickey-Mouse voice. Troy Montero doesn't utter a single word (at least during the time I was watching the movie), is that a sign that he can't act? You be the judge. Melanie Marquez can act, but here, she tries to break your eardrums every chance she gets. What is Mylene Dizon doing in a movie like this? She's too talented and too good-looking to appear in this dreck. And Ruffa Mae Quinto does her best, but the film's overall worthlessness just overwhelms her. In all her efforts to come up with funny moments, she just adds to the aggravation. She has a good joke about movie pirates, but that's it.

I have to ask... how did this movie get the green light??? What possible good could this film do (other than for the filmmakers)? I have a principle that I will never give a zero star rating to a picture unless it is immoral or offensive. But this film challenged me. The way it daringly peddles its garbage to the moviegoing public, and the way its actors show no desire to display any sense of dignity in their craft, is in itself offensive. And they call themselves artists.

I could put twenty monkeys in a paper room filled with crayons, and even they would be able to come up with something more creative than this miserable excuse for cinema. It doesn't even have the conviction to spell out what its title really means. If they could sell the title BOOBA, why didn't they just entitle this work "SUPER-BOOBY" (I know you're laughing at that suggestion)? You want to know what SUPER-B really means? I'll call it super-bad, but you probably think I have another b-word in mind (and you think right). Welcome to the worst movie of the year.

Oh, I meant mess.

Posted by FLIPCRITIC at June 13, 2002 12:00 AM